Cleaning House

Today was spent cleaning the house because Monday is my sister's sixteenth birthday and we'll be having some of her friends over to celebrate. So I vacuumed, then my mom washed the carpet with a machine we rented, then my mom and sister washed the dogs while I vacuumed again and dusted. It's all futile anyway, our dogs shed like crazy, and even after all the cleaning there is still dog hair permanently embedded in the carpet, and even after getting bathed the dogs immediately began shedding everywhere. It's so frustrating. I don't like having pets: they're dirty, they get everything else dirty, you have to feed them and take care of them and all that, ugh. I just don't like it. I'd prefer a clean house to pets. But apparently that's just me, my sister loves our dogs despite everything.

At 3 mom and I went to Kroger to return the carpet cleaner, and while we were there we picked up a few things, and then on the way back drove by a black stretch Hummer. Hummers are ridiculous enough in theire normal size, but when you stretch them out like this, geez, it just looks even more ridiculous. Awful gas-guzzling machines.

Now all that mom has to do before the party is clear off the counters from all her stuff, which is mostly paperwork that has been piling up for months. I don't know why she doesn't go through it when she first gets it. That's what she used to do. You'd think she would see how annoying it is to let things pile up like this and then get back to her usual habit, but no. I don't know what's wrong or what to do about it. I guess there isn't anything I can do. Oh well.

Just for fun, here's a picture of the cake Elisa got for her birthday (I could smell the icing the instant the took off the plastic cover, which is enough to make me nauseous, lol, so needless to say I won't be having any), and of my dogs. The white one is Skye (boy) and the black one is China (girl).

Funny Random Article

Haven't been up to much lately. My pastor (who is an avid reader and studier) leant me a book from his library at church that has been recommended to me by a few people - The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis - so I've been reading that, pieces of the Bible, "watching" some TV shows my mom owns (I play the episodes while I hang out in the house because it makes me feel like I'm not alone in the house). Just now I came across the short article on Groovy Vegetarian and thought it was funny enough to share. Other than that, nothing big or interesting to report, just having a nice relaxing time at home. ^_^
http://www.groovyvegetarian.com/2009/05/20/top-unexpected-dietary-habits/

Just Some Thoughts

So these are just some thoughts I’ve had recently. Right now I feel like my body is twice as big as it was when I started college. I feel like everything about my body has ballooned. I feel so big. But, I don’t feel discouraged. It’s amazing, all through high school I would have been miserably depressed if I had gained so much weight, but I’m growing up, growing out of that. I’m becoming a woman with bigger concerns. It doesn’t bother me that I’m not a stick figure anymore. It doesn’t hurt me to know I’m not skinny. I see thin girls around me and I am able to go on with my day. I see natural women of all sorts of shapes and sizes and it makes me smile to see them. They look beautiful to me, like real women who have embraced their bodies and live with them. Seeing real women makes me confident enough to be who I am, to not worry about my body, to not be stressed about not being the perfect ideal size I was in high school. I am who I am, and I am thankful for all the blessings I have in my life, all the family and friends who support me and lift me up and show me that life is bigger than just me. I don’t want to get bogged down in obsession with my weight again. I’m happier and more confident in myself that I’ve been in a very long time, and I only want to get more active as I get older, so I’m thankful that I have been able to gain weight without getting depressed.

Second, I don’t think my mom is ready to understand why I am vegan. It seems like she thinks I am still locked in my eating disorder and that that is what motivates me to be vegan. I don’t think she knows how strongly I feel for the cause, but I also think it would be difficult to explain my beliefs. I have this feeling that mom would have a hard time accepting that I have a sincere conviction to be vegan instead of an unhealthy disorder as my primary motive. I admit that my eating disorder was what first pushed me to be a vegan – it was very self-centered and simple-minded – but now I truly believe in what it stands for. Not to mention that vegans don’t appreciate anorexic vegans because it gives veganism a bad reputation. People already use the statistic that among vegetarians and vegans there is a higher percentage of eating disorders against it, so it’s better if I’m not super skinny again.

Third, I really don’t understand the stereotypical disgust that teenagers have toward their parents showing affection to each other. Maybe it’s because my parents are divorced, but I would be thrilled to see my parents kissing or showing PDA of some kind. It’s a sign that they love each other, why wouldn’t kids want to be assured of that? When I was a kid, that’s all I ever wanted. I dreamed about it, prayed for it. So I think that kids take it for granted when they get all weirded out because their parents hug and kiss and so on.

That’s all for now. I’ve been home a little more than a week but it feels longer, which is fine by me, I like it when time stretches out when you actually WANT it to. :)

Horror

Ok, I have to pause what I'm doing, I have to stop for the night. It's just too much. I've spent the last half hour crying my eyes out watching the first three parts of an 11 part documentary called Earthlings that exposes the raw, horribly gritty details of the animal industry and human "dependence" on animals. It's just too much. I can't even watch half of it. I want to throw up. How can people do this to animals? How can they do it without flinching? The way animals are treated, slaughtered... The word "evil" comes to mind when I watch this. I could never support these industries ever again, ever. And while I still hold to my decision to not judge people or be critical of people who continue to eat meat - and thereby support the cruelty of these industries that needlessly torture animals - I now feel it is much more important to SHOW people what they are supporting, to let them know how evil and violent and cruel the lifestyle is that they lead, that they depend on. I don't expect the world to become a better place by my efforts, but I can't just let people live blissfully in ignorance of how sickening the process is. If people decide they just can't live without their hamburgers, eggs, cheese, bacon, whatever, then fine, but I want them to make that choice KNOWING that that "food" came from living, breathing, bleeding creatures that felt pain and suffering, and had to DIE for the pleasure of humans. If the people I know can live with themselves knowing that, then there is nothing else to do, and I can try to be at peace with that. But just like I feel strongly about telling people about the grace of God given through Jesus Christ and giving them the choice of knowing Him, I want to show people the choice of living a life filled with cruelty and suffering, or one of peace and compassion. I don't know if I've ever felt as passionate about veganism and animal rights as I do right now, but what I just spend the last half hour watching has made me too sick to finish the rest right now and I am going to cry myself to sleep. It has always hurt me to see people being treated unfairly or cruelly for any reason, whether it was a defendable reason or not, but this video has really opened my eyes to the horror that animals are put through every day as if they were meaningless objects here on this earth for nothing more than to serve humans at any cost. That to me ranks with the rest of the evils in this world that humans commit against other humans, and the only thing I can say now is that there is no absolutely no way in this life that I could ever be tempted to consume any product of any kind that includes some form of animal product or animal cruelty. I just cannot in good conscience contribute to such horrific brutality.
Here is the link to the documentary:
Earthlings Part 1
I am encouraging everyone to watch at least a small part of this just so that you can know where I stand and why. I've only listened to the first three parts (I can only watch so much), but I will continue the rest tomorrow when my nerves and stomach are more settled. I think so far the third was the most traumatic for me, the one about farm animals.
Anyway, I love you all, God bless and have a great Friday tomorrow!

Starting Summer 2009

Well, so far I haven't done a whole lot since I've been home. The nice thing was that I went grocery shopping with mom the first night, and that was fun. I have missed going to Kroger with her; it's one of our things that we do. And she let me get some good stuff that I'm picky about. :D Then Friday we went to go see Wolverine Origins at the theater, which is the first theater movie I've seen in about a year I think. I liked it, but I've always had a thing for Wolverine/Hugh Jackman. ^_^ On Saturday mom and Lis went out and did stuff while I stayed home and finished watching a short anime series that Bri introduced me to Thursday night: Death Note. Omg, apart from Yu-Gi-Oh, I thought it was one of the most amazing anime I've ever seen. It was just breath-taking, and I have downloaded the opening theme song along with some other songs from the soundtrack and have been playing them non-stop for almost three days now (welcome to my newest obsession!). And I also now have a fantasy crush on L, who looks like one of those gamer-guys who spends all day and night in his dark bedroom playing computer games, so he's super pale with dark bags under his wide eyes. Then again he also looks like a druggie, lol. But I love him anyway :D Anyway, those thirty-seven episodes were an awesome way to start my summer, so thanks Bri!

Then Sunday was Mother's Day. It was so nice to be back at my home church! I haven't seen them since Christmas break. I always miss Cornerstone when I'm in Abilene, everyone is just so incredibly sweet and loving. And our pastor is great, I could listen to him preach for hours. But that's just me: I've always been partial to lectures rather than group discussion. After church the three of us girls spent the rest of the day watching Jane Austen films (BBC Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility). Then yesterday, Monday, I was home while mom was at work and Lis was at school. I watched Spirited Away and something else that I don't remember, probably another Hayao Miyazaki film -- because he's awesome -- until Lis came home and I helped her study for her AP World History exam until mom came home.

So then today, continuing with my anime theme, I watched Howl's Moving Castle. And like I said, I have also been listening to the Death Note music every second in between my other activities (and during others). Lis should be home soon, and I will help her study more when she does. I would really like to make a vegan dinner for my family at least a few times while I'm home. I know it would make my mom happy if we could all eat the same thing instead of me making something for myself the way I usually do. It would be so cool if she was vegan, but oh well. I know my sister never will be, but my mom would if she was motivated. In any case, I'm thinking Vegan Enchiladas will be my first attempt at a family vegan meal. Just need to go to the store with mom and get everything I need and decide when to do it.

Well that's about it for now. I have no sleeping pattern right now. I stayed up all night on Sunday and I went to bed at a normal time last night, so I'll probably be up really late tonight. Ah, who knows? Besides God I mean, haha. :P I'll write again if something interesting happens. In the mean time, I'm just enjoying my first taste of real free time that I have had in a very very very long time. This has got to be the first summer in many years that I haven't had any obligations or need to prepare for the next semester of school. Amazing! And besides, it's too hot to be active during the day, I might as well stay up late and enjoy the dark when the temperature is at its coolest.

(And for those of you interested, this is a YouTube video of the Death Note opening. It's 1:20 long, so it won't take much of your time to watch it. If you're interested. You don't by any means have to watch the entire series in two days like I did :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqOJRC0sWCk )

Drive Back Home

Yay! I made it home in one piece! It was a good experience. I checked out at 7AM, but I stopped at Walmart before I left to get snacks and gas, and didn't head off until 8AM. I ended up getting pulled over while I was still in Abilene, or close to it, for going 77 in a 70 zone and for driving in the left hand land without needing to pass. I had forgotten that the speed limit on the highway is always 70 (unless it turns to 65), and since I hadn't seen a speed sign the whole time I just figured I would go less than 80 and that would be ok. WRONG. Luckily the officer was nice and just gave me a warning, but that set me straight and I went the speed limit the whole rest of the time. I was so thankful for that, and I figure that was God telling me to go a safe speed.

Then at about 10AM I-20 split into I-20 and I-30, and I freaked out because when I saw the sign I thought it said the road was splitting into two different I-30s, and my brain just assumed I had been on I-30 the whole time, so I called mom and asked her which way to turn, but just as she said to stay on I-20 I had already turned onto I-30, so I had to turn around, which took about 10 minutes or so out of my time.

So I got back on I-20, then at exactly 11AM I turned onto I-45, and at 11:20 I stopped at a Shell station to go to the bathroom and have a small lunch. Then I started back driving at 11:35. I kept going until I got home at 2:15, without any trouble. The first thing I did was take in some things that I didn't want to leave in the car and then went straight to take a shower, because I was GROSS. Hot and sweaty, because for some reason my AC was not working. I was just getting a lot of warm air blowing on me. That would have killed dad if he had been in the car, lol.

But the weather was good for the drive because it was very very cloudy so it wasn't nearly as hot as it would have been if the sun had been beating down on me, and there was no sun in my eyes to blind me. AND, to top it all off, because I didn't have nearly as much of a load as I've had the last few times that I've driven to and from Abilene, there's still some gas in the tank! Usually the car is empty by the time the journey ends: it usually takes exactly one tank to get from one destination to the other, but that just goes to show that the weight of the load affects the gas milage. Who'd have thought? ^_^

I'm glad it was a safe trip. It didn't seem to last as long as it did, even though I was alone this time. Thank you, God! Thank you for keeping me safe and answering my prayers (and everyone else's who prayed for my safe return). I hope everyone else has a safe trip home, too.

Lorie, say hi to everyone for me! And give Bonnie my blog address!

Much love to all of you!!!!!!

New Song

So my most recent song addiction is From The Inside Out by Hillsong. Here's the link to it on YouTube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwJEdo1FlMo
Love you all! I can't believe I'll be home in less than a week, so sad... I mean, it's sad to leave, not sad to be home. It'll be nice to be with my family again. I can't wait to get hugs from my parents, my sister, my grandparents (eventually), my church family, etc,...
And thank you to you who gave honest responses to my last few posts, they have given me things to consider and let me know not only that you are reading what I write but that you care, and I don't know what I would do without you. I love you all so much...