Hanging Out

Tonight was a nice night, beautiful outside and clear and still. I sat outside with Lorie and Sarah on the hood of Sarah's car for a few hours just talking and hanging out. It was nice to just look up and watch the sky get dark and the stars get brighter. It was also nice because Sarah just told me, without any real pre-discussion, "Kaleigh, you're really pretty." And later she said, "You're not just skin-pretty, you're also pretty on the inside." That was encouraging, and Lorie agreed. I think they are both a lot prettier than I am, and I said so, but I guess we all feel that way. Which is so weird, because I really think that Sarah has a beautiful face. I don't understand it when these "gorgeous" girls who look like all the other gorgeous stars out there don't think they're pretty. I feel like I'm "justified" when I say I'm not pretty because I don't look like any of the stars who are considered pretty, but a lot of these other girls, they could be on TV with just their faces alone, but they still will say, "I'm not pretty" or "I hate how I look". And I just think, "You don't have any right to say that, you really ARE pretty, you look just like the people who everyone thinks is pretty, how can you say you're not pretty?!" I, on the other hand, could never be on TV for my face, so I feel like it's fiiting for me to not feel pretty. And it also makes me sort of mad because I feel like these other girls don't appreciate the beauty that they have, and it goes to waste on them, whereas someone like me who knows what it's like to really not be pretty would love to be able to have a face like theirs. I would be so happy to have these girls' faces because then I would feel pretty, and it's weird to think that I would feel pretty with their face but they have it now and don't feel pretty. How can one person feel pretty with the same face that another person feels ugly with? It's the same face! It's weird. But anyway, yeah, I appreciated Sarah saying that to me. I've still sworn off mirrors, until further notice, but that's helped me feel better about myself. The less I know about the details of my appearance, the less I can scrutinize and criticize and despise. I don't know how I look, so I just act how I feel inside, not how I feel about the outside.
Oh yeah, Sunday night I finally talked to these three girls on the second floor that I see all the time but have never actually met officially: Farren, Amber, and Erin. They are so nice, the first two are roommates, Erin is by herself I think. But they are so nice, we talked for hours, and unless they were lying, they like me too. They think I'm funny, lol. ^_^ I hope I get to talk to them more often.
We have no classes on Friday, so that's nice, I think. I would really like to get a lot of work done, or sleep. Either one. Or both. Yeah, both would be good. Of course, ideally I would ALSO love for dad to be able to come visit this weekend. A lot of people are leaving for the "Fall Break" (aka, Three Day Weekend) but I'm not going to bother. And I'm not planning on going home for Thanksgiving either. I don't like the holiday, and it's only five days long anyway. And besides, the semester ends two weeks after that, so what's the point?
Ok, well that's as much as I can report right now. I have a test tomorrow in Biology at 8AM and then a six minute informative speech to give at 1:30 for COMS. Fun. -_- At least my outline is correct, which is worth 30 points, and I got 10 points for going to the speech center beforehand. So I have at least a 40, lol. But I think it will be all right.
Love, Peace, and Sweet Dreams!