Awesome Deal

Ok, so this is one of the few times when I actually feel good about buyin jewelry.

Last night mom, Elisa and I went to Market Street and wandered into Charming Charlie (I'd never been there before, and honestly I don't see much reason for me to ever go back, but you know, I had a good time anyway). As usual I found my way to a clearance section and found these two really cool chain necklace & earring sets on clearance for $6 each, down from $12.97. That's still a bit much for me, but there was a sign that said 75% off already marked down jewelry, meaning each set was now $1.50! Well that fit right into my price range, so I took them on up to the check out and paid a total of $3.25 for two pretty awesome sets of chains, and I do love chains.

But still, I'd say that the chain stuff only made about 5% of Charming Charlie's inventory, and the rest isn't my style. So I think my first visit is probably going to be my best.

Finals

I finished my last week of classes yesterday at 9:50 with Astronomy. My 1:00 class was cancelled because our teacher deliberately finished on Wednesday, which was nice. It also meant that I could go out with Lorie for some fun! First we went to get her haircut, which turned out SO beautiful. I knew she’d look good with short hair, and it makes her look older and more chic. Then we went to a few stores looking for just the right boots for a new dress she has, and fortunately she found them at Ross for less than 20 dollars, which apparently is a bargain. I, on the other hand, rummaged through the clearance rack of dresses and found four that were perfect for me, in more ways than one. First, they are ankle-length. It is so hard to find ankle length dresses! Designers seem to think girls only want knee-length or just-passed-the-knee-length dresses, which is NOT true. But I got a teal and a blue that were the same style, which looks like a mix between a mermaid and an empire, sort of. The tops are a little lacking in support, but I don’t mind. I like the backs too: they’re these cool knit designs. And then the best part was the prices: the teal was $3 and the blue was $5, not sure why they were different. The third dress is a purple tube top, with a kind of gypsy-looking print. Very pretty and summery, and also only $5. I decided not to get the fourth dress, which was a halter top, cotton, blue, and closer to an empire style. I liked it a lot, but it had even less support than the first dresses. So for about $13, I got three dresses for less than what I would have spent on the shipping for one of the amazing handmade hippie dresses I’ve been looking at online. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t necessarily think that these Ross dresses are better than the handmade ones, but at least I can HAVE these. At this moment in time I’m not willing to spend upwards of $70 on one item of clothing, no matter how much I love it, and I do absolutely love those hippie dresses.
Well then we got back to the dorm and Lorie took a nap before class, so I went to work on revising my best poems to go into my chapbook that I will turn in with my poetry workshop final on Tuesday. So far it’s going well, though I am getting stuck in a few poems. I also hung out in Mary and Darby’s room for a while and watched Angel with them and Kristin while continuing to work on poetry. That was fun, though not exactly productive, though I’m not sure I would have been any more productive sitting by myself all night, which I usually am, but I just wasn’t feeling up to being alone then.
Overall, I am not worried about my finals. My Astronomy final comprises only questions from the first four tests—nothing new—and since I made 100s on all four of those tests I think I can manage the final. My Lit Crit final is only identification: I’ll read a few paragraphs from different analytical essays and I need to write down which criticism is being used. Simple. But I also have to turn in a portfolio of the analyses I’ve written during the semester with some reflections on what I’ve learned. Also pretty simple, and it’s not due until Monday so I’ve got some time. For poetry I have to make my chapbook, then in the final we will revise a poem he hands us, and read two of our own poems to the class. Hopefully that will go well. My Film final is Monday night and is basically a simple comprehensive multiple choice test, or so I’ve heard, but since I’m not taking that class for a grade I’m not too stressed about it. I don’t have a Bowling final, and my Bible final isn’t until Wednesday and only covers that last amount of information we covered, so after my Lit Crit final on Wednesday morning, I can spend from then until Friday morning studying for that. For now I’m focusing on my poetry chapbook and Lit Crit portfolio, they are my priorities because they require the most thought and effort and are due sooner.
I’m so blessed to have such a laid-back finals week. I know quite a few people who are very stressed, so I know this is a gift, and I’m thankful for it. Now it’s just a matter of me actually sitting down and finishing everything. And Lord willing, Ben and I will be on our way home right after the Bible final on Friday with no heavy traffic, no accidents, no bad weather, and no car problems.

Thoughts, Life & Lifestyle, Money, Stress

I've been thinking about this a lot for the past few days, maybe week, and I've come to the conclusion that I really don't like having a lot of stuff. I mean, I've known that for a long time, but I hadn't decided for sure that I could LIVE a lifestyle that was as minimalist as I was imagining. I don't watch TV, which means I don't need to buy one or own one or pay for the electricity to run it. I don't watch movies so I don't need to own those either. All of my music is on my computer so I don't need CDs. I don't need to own books because I can always go to a library or look stuff up online (because afterall, I don't tend to reread things). The only exception to that is my Bible: I definitely like having a Bible at hand and in my hands, and I definitely do reread it. But most of the "important" stuff is in my computer, so I guess as long as I have a place to plug it in I'm set. I could probably live without a phone because of instant messaging, email, and Skype. It might be a little less convenient than a phone, but seriously, the world does not need to revolve around convenience. And I'm not a fashion girl so I don't care about clothes or shopping, or makeup, so I'm not burdened down by needing to own a lot of that stuff. And I don't like driving, so I could live with walking or a bike, or at the most a moped, but I'd really like to avoid having to deal with car insurance, repairs and checkups, gas and government fees that come with owning a vehicle. That kind of stuff gets annoying really. And since I really don't go very many places, I don't really NEED to have a car. I actually like staying put: it's the people around me that make a place interesting, and with people of the world connected through the internet, it seems to me like I could be happy anywhere. Ideally I would love to live close to my mom and dad (I have a feeling my sister is the traveling type so I can't base my location on hers), maybe even move back to The Woodlands after I graduate. But another strange thing I have discovered is that I might actually be interested in living in New York, which is crazy because for my whole life I have been saying that I would DIE if I had to live in New York. I used to hate the idea of living in a huge, busy city, the idea of being one in a population of however many million, but that is where many of the publishing companies are that I might be interested in working for, so I have been playing with the idea of being there permanently. But for many years now I have been very anxious about money, and I worry a lot about whether in my future I will have enough to sustain myself. That is one of the (many) reasons I do not want to get married or have children, or pets because then I would not be responsible for just myself but for my family. I would have to MAKE SURE that I have a stable income to support the people depending on me, and I can't handle that responsibility. I only want to be responsible for myself. I can't handle any more added pressure than that. High school was bad enough when I stressed out about making SURE I got all 5s on my AP tests, got the National Merit Scholarship, got a high GPA and etc. I did everything to make sure I was able to get into a good college and afford it, which worked wonderfully and God has blessed me richly with my experience at ACU so far and I know even greater experiences are yet to come. But my whole motivation was MONEY. I didn't want my parents to feel burdened about paying for college (even though they always said I didn't have to worry about that, I still do), and I didn't want to feel like if they couldn't afford my school that I would have to pay for it myself because I was scared I would never have the money to pay for it, and I HATED (and still hate) the idea of being in debt or having to pay student loans. I just...I can't stand the idea of being in the negative, which is one of the many many why I live such a frugal lifestyle. The less I spend - and the less I desire to buy STUFF - the less likely I will fall into debt. So the key for me is to not desire things. If I don't have desire, I don't want to buy, and if I don't want to buy I don't need money to buy, and if I don't need money to buy then I don't need to get a big fancy high-paying job. (Sounds pretty Buddhist, doesn't it? lol) I can be happy and satisfied with a minimal job that pays me enough money to get by. And I don't have to worry about getting the high-paying job in order to support a family. It just gives me so much relief to think about this simple lifestyle. The less I have, the happier I am. I try to be as simple as possible, and I find that if I ever take something that is offered to me, I start thinking of who I can give it to. I figure mostly, if I have a place to sleep, a place to plug in my laptop and get internet (an offer at many restaurants and coffee shops and grocery stores these days), a place to bathe and brush my teeth, I can get by pretty happily. For now I think that is my minimum. Of course, I'll also need a place to get vegan food, but you can find that anywhere now. I suppose ideally I would like to be close to a Whole Foods, which they have in NY, but that of course is by no means the only place. And I figure if that's all I need, I can live a pretty cheap life, which is very comforting to me. Maybe I'd be able to room with a bunch of other people who think like me and we can split the cost to an easy price for all of us. And I'm also thinking that if I don't have to worry about making a lot of money to live, I will have more time to dedicate to community service or non-profit organizations or whatnot. I'm not looking to be a bum, I'm looking to have less of a stressful burden on my head that lets me explore the world and find my place in the community without the annoying requirement of money. I hate how it seems there is a minimum requirement of income for a person to live in America and be considered "normal". It seems like there are so many fees and bills and taxes and payments for food, housing, insurance, clothes, water and electricity, phone, internet, etc that a person just HAS to take into account when they consider how much money they need to make in order to just "get by". I HATE that, it stresses me out to the point of depression, anxiety and tears. I want to avoid that stuff as much as possible, and I'll do just about anything to avoid it. I'll give up whatever it takes, seriously. I just want to feel like I'm a productive member of the community and a productive follower of Christ, and I just don't feel like living my life to make money in order to pay for all these so-called "necessary" aspects of the American life is a part of the life I want to live. It's not. So I plan my future pretty much around being homeless so that if it comes to that I am mentally prepared to live that way. And after this week of deep contemplation, I've come to the conclusion that I could, and that is such a great comfort and relief to me to know that I would be willing to do that. It makes me feel free to make a lot of different choices without worrying about money. You can't put a price on the relief this feeling gives me. And after all, Jesus said that the Son of Man has no place to rest his head, so if he could live the wandering life, I figure I should be able to also.