Thanksgiving 2010

So, not that I think today, being Thanksgiving, is any reason to be more grateful for the blessings I have in my life, but nevertheless, it is a day designated to think on them with more focus, and the easiest way for me to do that is to list them. So, here I go!

First and foremost, Jesus Christ, my lord, my savior, my everything

Family!

Friends

good roommates and a good apartment close to campus

this amazing university that I am attending

all my wonderful professors

eyes that work so that I can read and write all I want on my own

books

blogging and journaling

email

phones

skype (even though no one ever seems to be on...)

pretty much the internet in general

and my laptop, and flashdrives

the kindness and generosity of others (and God, of course ^_^)

time alone

music, pandora radio, and grooveshark

beautiful art

the creative genius of Joss Whedon and Tim Burton

farmer's markets

Alan Rickman!

trident gum

getting letters in the mail

hot showers

rain, thunderstorms

candles, and matches, fun fun matches...

colors

tea!

mugs as big as bowls

the ability to learn

Jesus Christ again (because He is the Alpha and the Omega :D)

Awesome Deal

Ok, so this is one of the few times when I actually feel good about buyin jewelry.

Last night mom, Elisa and I went to Market Street and wandered into Charming Charlie (I'd never been there before, and honestly I don't see much reason for me to ever go back, but you know, I had a good time anyway). As usual I found my way to a clearance section and found these two really cool chain necklace & earring sets on clearance for $6 each, down from $12.97. That's still a bit much for me, but there was a sign that said 75% off already marked down jewelry, meaning each set was now $1.50! Well that fit right into my price range, so I took them on up to the check out and paid a total of $3.25 for two pretty awesome sets of chains, and I do love chains.

But still, I'd say that the chain stuff only made about 5% of Charming Charlie's inventory, and the rest isn't my style. So I think my first visit is probably going to be my best.

Random Update

Ok, this is totally random, but I just thought this was a good article.

http://www.carm.org/religious-movements/open-theism/logical-refutation-open-theism

School is so busy right now. I'm working on a linguistics research paper right now, and right when I'm done I'll start on my next one, and then right after that I'll work on my Medieval Lit paper, and then after that I'll make my presentation for Christianity & Culture class, and then all sorts of other little assignments will get sprinkled in between. I can't believe only three weeks left, then I'll be on my way home! I have soo many books I can't wait to start reading! This summer is going to be so book-filled, I can't even tell you how excited I am. I'll probably also keep working on the World Literature powerpoints for Dr. Delony's class next semester, and I'll have to contact all the freshmen that are going to be in my Cornerstone class in which I will be the Peer Leader ^_^ I'm pretty excited about that too, since I'll be working with Dr. Delony again. It will be my fourth semester in one of her classes, except this time I won't have to do any classwork, haha! I just have to interact with other students instead... Not what I'm best known for, but it'll be nice to branch out, expand my horizons, and maybe make me a better candidate for Resident Assistant my senior year.

Since I didn't get to be an RA next year, I think I at least got the next best thing: I'll be living in a condo right across the street (yay for walking-distance!) with three friends so that the monthly rent for each of us is $200, plus, the only extra cost is water, everything else is covered by the landlord, sweet! So not so bad at all really. At least I don't have to drive to school, that was the main thing for me. I love living on campus and just being able to walk to class.

Other than just working non-stop for classes, I really haven't been up to much. I am just so ready for this semester to be over, and thankfully after this I will only every have to take about 13 hours a semester to graduate, so no more of this 17 hour load, woohoo! I'll actually have breathing room to interact with my freshmen, and read and write more for pleasure (hopefully)...and that's as far as I'll dare to hope, lol.

Ok, well, back to the research papers for me. Until next time!

Spiritual Gifts

So I took this online quiz that helps you learn your spiritual gifts. My top 4 don't surprise me at all, but I didn't realize that they were spiritual gifts in the first place. Kind of cool. :)

Thu Mar 25 19:49:00 2010 EST
Score Graph of Score Spiritual Gift Statement / Response
25 ========================== Celibacy 3 = 5 31 = 5 59 = 5 87 = 5 115 = 5
23 ======================== Craftsmanship 4 = 5 32 = 5 60 = 3 88 = 5 116 = 5
23 ======================== Poverty 22 = 5 50 = 5 78 = 5 106 = 3 134 = 5
21 ====================== Writing 28 = 5 56 = 3 84 = 5 112 = 3 140 = 5
19 ==================== Hospitality 13 = 3 41 = 5 69 = 5 97 = 3 125 = 3
18 =================== Music 20 = 5 48 = 5 76 = 3 104 = 0 132 = 5
17 ================== Faith 9 = 5 37 = 5 65 = 3 93 = 3 121 = 1
17 ================== Mercy 17 = 3 45 = 3 73 = 5 101 = 5 129 = 1
15 ================ Helps 12 = 3 40 = 5 68 = 3 96 = 1 124 = 3
14 =============== Giving 10 = 3 38 = 5 66 = 5 94 = 1 122 = 0
13 ============== Exhortation 8 = 3 36 = 3 64 = 1 92 = 3 120 = 3
12 ============= Encouragement 6 = 3 34 = 5 62 = 0 90 = 3 118 = 1
11 ============ Teaching 24 = 3 52 = 1 80 = 3 108 = 3 136 = 1
10 =========== Pastoring 21 = 3 49 = 1 77 = 5 105 = 0 133 = 1
9 ========== Discernment 5 = 1 33 = 3 61 = 3 89 = 1 117 = 1
8 ========= Intercession 14 = 3 42 = 1 70 = 3 98 = 1 126 = 0
8 ========= Evangelism 7 = 3 35 = 1 63 = 0 91 = 1 119 = 3
7 ======== Knowledge 15 = 1 43 = 3 71 = 1 99 = 1 127 = 1
7 ======== Missionary 19 = 3 47 = 1 75 = 1 103 = 1 131 = 1
6 ======= Leadership 16 = 1 44 = 1 72 = 0 100 = 1 128 = 3
6 ======= Wisdom 27 = 3 55 = 1 83 = 1 111 = 1
6 ======= Prophecy 23 = 1 51 = 1 79 = 3 107 = 1 135 = 0
5 ====== Healing 11 = 3 39 = 1 67 = 1 95 = 0 123 = 0
4 ===== Apostle 2 = 3 30 = 0 58 = 1 86 = 0 114 = 0
4 ===== Administration 1 = 1 29 = 1 57 = 1 85 = 1 113 = 0
4 ===== Miracles 18 = 3 46 = 0 74 = 0 102 = 1
3 ==== TonguesSpeaking 26 = 3 54 = 0 82 = 0 110 = 0
0 = TonguesInterpreting 25 = 0 53 = 0 81 = 0 109 = 0 137 = 0

Here's the link so you can take it too if you so desire:
http://www.kodachrome.org/spiritgift/

Alone

I sit inside my heart, an air-
filled chamber with one window
to let in the night. Silence

stifles, a soaked pillow on my face,
an anchor wrung around my ribs,
a parasite sucking my energy
to dial, to speak, to care. Music

is no remedy, managing only to make
the room seem bigger, emptier.
My own breathing pushes the walls

out, increasing the distance
between me and the world. Does
it still exist? The walls are too far

off to see, so I crumple with nowhere
to go, a limp nucleus in a solitary
atom, fainter than the shadow of mist.


Just a poem I wrote just now, how I'm feeling. I was trying to feel productive.

Finals

I finished my last week of classes yesterday at 9:50 with Astronomy. My 1:00 class was cancelled because our teacher deliberately finished on Wednesday, which was nice. It also meant that I could go out with Lorie for some fun! First we went to get her haircut, which turned out SO beautiful. I knew she’d look good with short hair, and it makes her look older and more chic. Then we went to a few stores looking for just the right boots for a new dress she has, and fortunately she found them at Ross for less than 20 dollars, which apparently is a bargain. I, on the other hand, rummaged through the clearance rack of dresses and found four that were perfect for me, in more ways than one. First, they are ankle-length. It is so hard to find ankle length dresses! Designers seem to think girls only want knee-length or just-passed-the-knee-length dresses, which is NOT true. But I got a teal and a blue that were the same style, which looks like a mix between a mermaid and an empire, sort of. The tops are a little lacking in support, but I don’t mind. I like the backs too: they’re these cool knit designs. And then the best part was the prices: the teal was $3 and the blue was $5, not sure why they were different. The third dress is a purple tube top, with a kind of gypsy-looking print. Very pretty and summery, and also only $5. I decided not to get the fourth dress, which was a halter top, cotton, blue, and closer to an empire style. I liked it a lot, but it had even less support than the first dresses. So for about $13, I got three dresses for less than what I would have spent on the shipping for one of the amazing handmade hippie dresses I’ve been looking at online. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t necessarily think that these Ross dresses are better than the handmade ones, but at least I can HAVE these. At this moment in time I’m not willing to spend upwards of $70 on one item of clothing, no matter how much I love it, and I do absolutely love those hippie dresses.
Well then we got back to the dorm and Lorie took a nap before class, so I went to work on revising my best poems to go into my chapbook that I will turn in with my poetry workshop final on Tuesday. So far it’s going well, though I am getting stuck in a few poems. I also hung out in Mary and Darby’s room for a while and watched Angel with them and Kristin while continuing to work on poetry. That was fun, though not exactly productive, though I’m not sure I would have been any more productive sitting by myself all night, which I usually am, but I just wasn’t feeling up to being alone then.
Overall, I am not worried about my finals. My Astronomy final comprises only questions from the first four tests—nothing new—and since I made 100s on all four of those tests I think I can manage the final. My Lit Crit final is only identification: I’ll read a few paragraphs from different analytical essays and I need to write down which criticism is being used. Simple. But I also have to turn in a portfolio of the analyses I’ve written during the semester with some reflections on what I’ve learned. Also pretty simple, and it’s not due until Monday so I’ve got some time. For poetry I have to make my chapbook, then in the final we will revise a poem he hands us, and read two of our own poems to the class. Hopefully that will go well. My Film final is Monday night and is basically a simple comprehensive multiple choice test, or so I’ve heard, but since I’m not taking that class for a grade I’m not too stressed about it. I don’t have a Bowling final, and my Bible final isn’t until Wednesday and only covers that last amount of information we covered, so after my Lit Crit final on Wednesday morning, I can spend from then until Friday morning studying for that. For now I’m focusing on my poetry chapbook and Lit Crit portfolio, they are my priorities because they require the most thought and effort and are due sooner.
I’m so blessed to have such a laid-back finals week. I know quite a few people who are very stressed, so I know this is a gift, and I’m thankful for it. Now it’s just a matter of me actually sitting down and finishing everything. And Lord willing, Ben and I will be on our way home right after the Bible final on Friday with no heavy traffic, no accidents, no bad weather, and no car problems.

A Lovely Tuesday

So yesterday was pretty much amazing. I'll walk you through my day. I woke up, took a shower, went to the Connections Cafe and chatted with Becky (the lovely lady who works there) for a while then went to sit in my Bible classroom. Class started at 9:30, we took an attendance quiz because about 10 people were gone so we got extra points just for staying in town long enough to show up. We ran through an introduction of Proverbs, and THEN, class got out 45 minutes early. So I came back to the room and played Words With Friends (a scrabble game application on the iphone) for an hour or two. Then I used a meal plan, went to the Campus Store to buy a few drinks for the rest of the week since it'll be closed during the holiday. Then Lorie (my best friend here at ACU) drove me to the hair cutter place, but since I had 50 minutes until my bowling test and there were a few people ahead of us we decided to come back later, so we went to her room and hung out, looking at pretty dresses on eBay and chatting, all the while realizing how amazing it would be for us to live together at some point because we feed off of each other so well. Then I went to bowling, finished the test in less than 10 minutes, and bowled one game in which I gtot a spare the first frame, followed immediately by a turkey!! FINALLY! I have been waiting so long to get a turkey! It was so exciting! In the end I bowled a 156, less than my high score of 160, but still, I got a turkey! If I had just bowled a spare in the 10th frame and gotten my extra pins I would have beated my 160. Oh well. No big deal. I will admit that I say a little prayer every time I step up to the approach, because I figure, God's the one controlling the pins. I mean, I've seen a ton of perfect throws that look like they'll make perfect strikes, and they'll leave one or two pins, or really off throws that end up making strikes. So it's pretty unpredictable, and there's no reason not to incorporate God into all the little aspects of life anyway.

So yeah, after my fabulous game Lorie and I went back to the hair cutters and I got the best hair dresser I've ever had. She was so patient, supportive, and excited for me while she was cutting. We started out a little cautious with my hair, but after a while of going at it with a sharp razor, I finally decided I just wanted her to bring out the clippers and shave it down really short. And she did, using a 1.5 guard in the back, a 2 guard on the sides, and then blended it all in and chopped up the top a little. It turned out so perfectly, and when she looked at it she was like, "I want this haircut now!" ^_^ And the great thing was that the cut only cost 7.95, totally worth it! Her name was Vanessa, I need to remember that, lol. (pictures are on facebook)

So then Lorie and I came back, went to the food court to use our meal plans, then I had to rush off to go to the planetarium for my Astronomy class at 5:30. We learned a little about Uranus, and I remembered how much I like planetariums, sitting in the dome theatre looking up like your looking at the sky and actually seeing all the stars.

Well I got back at 7 and hung out with Lorie the rest of the night, which was wonderful. She bid on a dress on eBay that is super cute and won it at around 10. I spent the whole time looking at handmade hippie dresses, which are soooooooo gorgeous! And if I was rich I would buy them all. I want that to be my style now! It also inspired me to make my own dresses, but I'd have to learn how to sew and make dresses first. It would be so worth it though. And if Lorie and I live together, we are definitely going to make our own clothes, and have tea parties, and be all free-spirited and artsy and read and listen to music constantly, oh goodness, sounds like heaven! So if we don't get hired as RAs, there is still an upside to look forward to! While I would love to be an RA and get paid to live in the dorm, I won't feel bad if I don't because being Lorie's housemate will be amazing. ^_^

Ok, so at around 10:45 Lorie went to bed because she has work at 5am (which is where she is now), so I went to my room, but for some reason I could NOT fall asleep. I don't think I drifted off until around 1, but the next thing I know it's 3:25 and I'm wide awake. So I took a shower, and got on my computer to pass the time. And now I am listening to music while Lorie is at work watching Spirited Away, and now that I'm finished with this post I can chat with her on Facebook or something, lol.

So that's my fabulous yesterday, and now it's time for Thanksgiving Break! I have a few things I want to do, but nothing school related since I have no homework whatsoever, and no finals to study for. Woohoo! Free time!

God is So Good

He really is. I am so blessed. Being here in this school is so amazing, all the opportunities I have and resources I have are incredible, I have a wonderful supportive loving family, and then I also get little surprise blessings along the way that I didn’t expect. Yesterday I bought a diet 7Up from the Campus Store using the Bean Bucks that I am required to have because of the meal plan I am required to have as a student who lives on campus. It was 84 cents. (I had to pay about $1270 for the meal plan, and I get 7 meals/week along with 100 Bean Bucks/semester). Well, the bottle said there was a code under the cap, so, having time to waste I decided to go ahead and type in the code online. Well, lo and behold, I hit the “submit” button and instead of the “Sorry, you do not have a winning code at this time” page that I was expecting to pop up, what greets me is “You’ve Won!” Well that woke me up. Apparently my code won me a $50 gift card for gas! Well I was so excited a made a little yelping noise and the woman next to me in the store started celebrating with me. So I clicked the “Claim Prize” button and then was told the card should arrive in the mail within 6-8 weeks. I mean, seriously, who would ever expect something like that to happen? God is just awesome like that, sprinkling in little fun gifts in people’s lives when they seem so dull and monotonous. So I’d say it was worth 84 cents to buy that one little soda.
But even if I hadn’t won, I know that God is good. Way better than good even. He is ___ (Fill in the blank with any and all magnificent adjectives). And HE IS. I love my life right now. I am so blessed, so blessed, I am spilling over with blessings. I mean, I get down every now and then, but as the Audio Adrenaline songs says, He picks me up again. School is going well overall, I love my classes and my professors (I love that word, it makes me feel like I’m in Harry Potter, lol). This place is just so encouraging, I feel like the entire world is open to me. I’m going to take Japanese classes next year, and I also have an opportunity to come back during the summer and help teach Japanese high school students English, and there is also a missional interest meeting next week that includes missions to Japan, and my Old Testament teacher specifically mentioned to me two people in the Bible Department who have a special interest in Japan that he could get me in touch with. All these things just suddenly appeared to me last week! And it all sounds so exciting! I’ve had an interest in Japanese culture for a long time now, and now it really seems like learning it, the language, going to the actual country – all of it seems like a possible reality now. I never dared to entertain the thought, it always seemed more like a fanciful dream or a hobby at most. This is just amazing, nothing seems too out of reach anymore.
Then again, that’s God’s whole message isn’t it? Nothing is impossible with Him.
God is so good!

Towers fall and kingdoms crumble
Mountains bow and the earth will tremble
At the sound of Your Name
Strong men fall as to him who humbles
The plans he made were bound to stumble
And only You remain, only You remain
Oh oh
(Sound of Your Name - Above the Golden State)

The Narrative of the First Day of a New 20-Year-Old

Well here I am, a full-fledged 20-year-old, a one-fifth centenarian, a teen-no-more, a young adult. There was no cosmic initiation into this club, but I still feel like this is some kind of accomplishment. There were lots of "Happy Birthday" messages of various mediums, and a good number of presents, but no horns or trumpets, and no sparkly twisty-turning of my body through the air like in Sims 3 when a person reaches a new age. Oh well, maybe next year for the big 21. Maybe.

Anyway, it was a good day, I really always appreciate the people I'm close to saying "Happy Birthday" to me when they see me, it makes me feel like I've made enough of an impression on them that they notice me and want to acknowledge me. Kristin, Janille and Alex were so nice they even got me a box of Fiber One original cereal and a jar of Pace salsa! My favorites! I was touched, really. They know me so well. There isn't anything else that I would have even asked for from them, really. So that was just another special thing about my day.

Besides being a normal Thursday (no, school was not cancelled for the special occasion) I also got little texts and emails throughout the day from people saying "Happy Birthday!" I woke up, took a shower, saw the texts from my family members who wanted to wish me well, then I went to the Bible Building before class so I could call Grandma and Grandpa and chat for a while. Then I took a "nap" in the dark because I was so early the lights in the room were still off. Then I had class (Message of the Old Testament) from 9-10:50 and learned that I have a test over Genesis on Tuesday.

Then I went to chapel from 11-11:30, as I do every day whether I need the credits or not because it just never occurs to me to not go. Then I had lunch, came back to my room, read some poetry for class, then got on Skype so Grandma and Grandpa could watch me open the present they sent me. Unfortunately Skype hasn't worked very well the last two times we have tried it, so I ended up having to just open the gift over the phone. Oh well, at least I got to see the two of them for a little while in broken, pixelated images.

After that John called me (perfect timing actually) and we chatted for a little while, which was nice. Then I went and checked the mail and the package he had sent me was here, so I opened it right there - a shirt with wings printed on the back! So cute! :D

Then I went downstairs to go to bowling class, and I got two strikes and three spares, yay! I got a 120, my best score yet this semester. Then I just hung around and chatted with Mrs. Rotenberry for a while because she's just awesome. I told her my dad was supposed to be coming soon and she suggested that he come and bowl before I even told her that that had been my plan all along, lol. But I love her, she's always so vibrant and excited, you can't be in a bad mood around her.

Then I came back to the room just as Alex, Kristin and Janille were headed out, so I got online and read my birthday emails and replied to them, and read the card that Alex (my roommate) had left on my desk. Then the three of them came back and gave me a box of cereal and jar of salsa, which I just thought was the sweetest thing. Honestly. :) Then they left to go eat dinner while I stayed and got on Skype with mom (which worked very well, so I wonder why Skype doesn't like Grandma and Grandpa. It worked great at the very beginning! Why is it suddenly going all funky on us??? Not fair...) and she and Elisa watched me open the presents they sent me. Such a good selection of stuff, all made me feel really special. ^_^

Then I wrote little Thank You cards for my friends here and when they got back from dinner I gave them the cards. Now Alex is out running errands so I'm here typing away and enjoying myself and thinking about what it means to be 20 -- along with astrophysics and the nature of the universe and how many licks it takes to get to the center of a vegan tootsie pop. ;P

Anyway, I've really enjoyed the day, and tomorrow is Friday (yay!) and looks like a promising day as well. I'm going to be pretty busy because I've got two tests to study for (Bible and Astronomy) a slam poem to write, a critical analysis to write of a poem I haven't picked out yet, a chapter on Deconstructionist Criticism to read so I can get started on a group project, and a Bible project about poetry and prophecy that I'd like to get a bit more along with, though since it isn't due until November (and hasn't actually been assigned yet) it's a little farther down on my priorities list, but I've also got a Disney movie night tomorrow with the other girls and a Summit lecture to go to Sunday night. Wow, that sounds like a lot! O_O Hm, guess I'd better get started. Well, I've already started, I guess I mean I better keep on going with it all. Yeah, that sounds good.

Love you all!!!!

20 = 1/5 of a Century

So I’ve made it to this point of my life, an age where the immaturities and dramas of adolescence are supposed to just fall away like a fashion trend left behind in a passing decade, scoffed for its unenlightened taste but remembered for the endearing qualities that captured the time in an enjoyable memory. I’ve reached a time where it feels like I should move on to bigger better things, where I should step out of the mindsets holding me back and strap on the new adventure-seeking boots and rugged jackets ready to take the abuse of a more sinister age-group that will no longer be willing to look at me as just another naïve silly teenager. I’ve reached a new terrain on this path to the peak of the moutain, the ground is shifting as the road gets higher and the air gets thinner, but the sun is shining brighter and closer than ever.

Admittedly I didn’t wake up this morning with fairy dust or cosmic sparkles or confetti swooshing from the air to the sound of horns and trumpets. It has basically been a normal day besides the abundant “Happy Birthday” messages of different mediums reaching me throughout the day – texts, emails, writing on the dry erase board on my door, cards both online and in the mail, gifts and packages, and phone calls. But I didn’t hear an internal pop at the magic hour when my time on earth had rolled over from 19.9 to 20 years and the annual radio turned on. I just woke up and knew. I had to make a conscious decision to acknowledge that yes, this is the twenty-first September 17th I have ever lived through, which means this is the completion of my twentieth year on earth. I have to decide that I want to change because Nature isn’t going to make that decision for me. It can biologically push me forward down the one-way street of Time, but ultimately it is up to me to say I am going to change, I am going to be different from now on! Technically I could say this at any point I wanted, but birthdays are a much more symbolic moment. As of now I have officially passed through the teenage phase and into the young adult phase of life. This is supposed to be the time when life starts getting real, when I am supposed to start taking responsibility for myself, to learn things about the outside world, how it works, what it takes to survive on my own, when to be wary of things that look too good to be true, when to jump on the right opportunities, and so on. Of course, it is always good to have these kinds of discernment, but it is much more expected of someone who has reached a certain age and more unforgivable if they haven’t. To be honest, I would rather be turning fifty right now, an age I consider wise, rich in knowledge and experience, and full of joy for having lived long enough to really outgrow all the layers of immaturity without losing a childlike joy for life itself, and at the same time growing mature enough to fall deeply in love with God and yet having the wisdom to know that you are still a child in His eyes. Life is full of oxymoronic dichotomies. Grow older in years to realize how childlike you are in the face of God. I feel so ready to hopscotch through life, experience everything at once, read the end of the book before taking the journey of the story. I want it all! And I want it all now! I want to know how my grandparents feel when they wake up every day knowing they have come this far. I want to know what it is like to watch the sun rise over the tops of mountains while sipping tea in a fertile green hillside. I want to know what it’s like to look in a mirror, see wrinkles that have been companions for decades, and smile at the sight of them. I want to know what it’s like to watch gray hair turn whiter every day. I want to know what it’s like to reach a point where I appreciate age so much I wouldn’t trade it for youth, because the years I’ve lived have filled me with too much joy to give up. I’m so ready to be there. But it looks like I still have to keep going at the same rate, because in order to get there, I have to take the ride first. But to get there, I have to live a life that I can look back on and smile. And to live that kind of life, I have to change my attitude. And what better time to start than now, today, on a birthday train that picks me up at Teenager Lane and drops me off at Twenty-Something Street? Life hasn’t stopped yet, it just keeps taking me to new places, to new selves to try on, to new people to meet. God, take me by the hand, pull me in close, whisper in my ear something encouraging, and lead me away. I’m willing, and I trust You.

Ending The Summer

Well, this is it, I'm back at school and classes start in the morning. I realize I left a big gap between now and my last post during the summer, and looking back I guess I could have written a bit more, but overall I wasn't doing anything that seemed worth mentioning, just staying at home and relaxing, reading, writing, watching old movies, just being in the house and soaking in the scenery. The summer was so long, and I could have handled a lot more time as I was, but I don't mind being back. In fact, I love being here. ACU is such a great fit for me, it's just the traveling time and packing time in-between that I could live without.

My trip back to school was uneventful, no accidents or traffic stops or cops pulling me over (I never once went over the speed limit this time :), and I managed to get to school in 6 hours and 14 minutes exactly, even with a 15 minute break. I pulled into a parking space right at 2:00pm and started unloading some stuff, and the first person I met was Lorie, which made me happy. It was nice to see her again, and then I got into the room and Alex had already set up her side of the room. I eventually was able to see (and hug) Kristin, Janille, Mary, Darby, and Stephanie, and get a little caught up. Apparently I wasn't the only one who changed her hair color over the summer, so it was cool seeing everyone's new looks, and peaking in on their rooms. As expected, Mary and Darby have a very comfortable, homey space, just like their last room, only bigger and better able to hold all their stuff. :)

I really like my room, it feels a lot like my old one in McDonald, except there is a little more space to fit an extra person. Otherwise it's pretty neat, clean, organized, simple, just the way I like it. Alex is so sweet and down-to-earth, I think we'll get along great (which is why I was so happy she agreed to be my roommate, I had a good feeling about her...). I really hope all of us who signed up together are able to stay close. It feels weird not having the lobby right outside our doors like we're used to having, so I hope that doesn't keep us from getting together a lot. I miss McDonald, but Sikes has a lot of good qualities. It feels so much like a hotel, including having our own bathrooms in each room. That should be a nice change, not that having community bathrooms bothered me, but it'll be nice to not have to walk down the hall anymore just to use a toilet in the middle of the night. And Alex brought a TV with her, so there's a TV in my room this time. That'll take some getting used to also. But whatever. It's nothing to complain about really, just something different.

I think I'm going to like my schedule this semester, it's a lot like last semester, except I have two classes on Friday instead of one (oh darn, isn't that just awful??? :P lol). I hope my Film Appreciation class on Monday nights will be more endurable than Lifetime Wellness was. I'll be watching movies instead of doing physical activities from 6-10. And hopefully I can survive slam poetry at the beginning of my Poetry Workshop class, I despise public speaking, but it's just something I have to do I guess. Lord, give me strength and courage... It's actually supposed to be something that gets everyone revved up and excited, but for me it's terrifying. I'm more of the silent-writer type.

Besides classes I have a lot of things to take care of, getting paperwork for scholarships and insurance and that kind of thing. I'll find time for it, I just wish I could get it all done in one day, but I know there will be some waiting involved. Oh well, what can you do? Just have to take things as they come. I'm really praying that I can be calm this semester. I mean, it'll be weird not being stressed all the time - I feel like that's wired into my personality - but I at least want to be able to be excited and happy about what I'm doing and not just worried that I'm not doing it well enough. I want to be able to live like today is my last day and really enjoy each moment, like those people with terminal illnesses. I want to see all the little things and have my priorities straight, and do all the things I want to do without worrying about doing things I feel I "have" to do. I really feel in my element when I'm writing, that's when I am the most comfortable, so I want to be able to write for a living, even if it doesn't seem like the "best" job to have, I love the feeling I get when I just sit down and start typing away, and I would do that for the rest of my life if I find the opportunity, even if it didn't pay large amounts of money. Isn't doing what you love more important than that? That's what I keep hearing. I don't want my life to turn into one more mistake or regret or missed opportunity. And if that's going to happen I have to stop worrying about everything. I have to trust God, trust that He will provide and take care of me no matter what, even when I'm terrified I have to cling to Him over everything else. In the end, He is all I have, and I need to remember that. I need to trust Him, listen to Him, love Him, and live for Him. That's all I can do. I just need a lot of help doing it, because I can't even do any of that without Him.

Ok, well, that's all I have for tonight. Tomorrow starts my life's next chapter titled Sophomore Year, The Adventure Continues.

Florida and Back Too Quickly

So I realize I am a little behind in writing about this, but I dyed my hair last Wednesday before my trip to Florida. When mom and I were at Walgreens we found an awesome red that was on clearance for 2.59 instead of 10, so how could I resist? She colored my hair for me so it looked like this:

And then we got to Florida and I went with my grandpa to get both of our hair cut, and so now it looks like this:

I love it this length, love it love it love it! And I think I make a pretty good red hed if I do say so myself. :)

Well the time at my grandparents' house was awesome. My mom, sister and I pretty much just relaxed the whole time, we got to see a lot of family, swam in the pool, and best of all got to be with grandma and grandpa for over a week! Now that I am back home it feels like it never happened, like it was all a dream. It went by too fast. I miss them already.

Well, other than having an amazing time with my grandparents, and my hair, not much to say at the moment. Except for HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!

^_^

Update on Life

So I really haven’t been up to anything much since my last post. I’ve been reading, writing, doing random things online, enjoying time by myself and time with my mom and sister, thinking about things, and since Tuesday night, playing Sims 3 that my sister got. Thursday was my sister’s last day of high school, so she’s a junior now. Freaky. Hard to believe really. But it also means that I won’t be home alone anymore, so that’s kind of a bummer, lol. I play the Sims when she’s not home so that way I’m not taking away from her time to play. Then again, what I mostly like about the Sims is the creating part: I love to design the characters and their houses, after that all I’m interested in is making them master each skill. My sister is the one who actually like to make them live lives, get married, have jobs, have kids, meet people and hang out, that kind of thing. My characters are always loners who focus solely on master one skill at a time by being hermits in their own houses. So really, it’s more interesting to watch Elisa play her characters than play mine. I also know that I have an addicted personality so if I start playing, I’ll spend the whole day on it, or more than a day, which is why I try to avoid games in the first place. I stayed up all night for two nights playing Sims 3 when Elisa first got it, after that she didn’t want me playing at night anymore because the computer is in her room and it makes it hard for her to sleep, even when it’s muted. But I think the novelty is wearing off now so I can just watch her play while I read and write now.
Next week my mom, sister and I are going to go to Florida to spend the week with my grandparents (yay!!!). It’s been a while since we last saw them, and this way mom can have a week of vacation. I love my grandparents, so I’m really excited about going to see them, and the last few times I’ve spoken to grandma she’s sounded pretty good, so hopefully she’ll be feeling well while we’re down there. Plus I’m looking forward to hanging out with my grandpa, going grocery shopping and to Sam’s and walking and that kind of thing. Mom also thought it would be fun to go to Disney World one day and ride the new Harry Potter ride (roller coaster?), so that should be fun. I do love roller coasters. ^_^
Also, Friday (yesterday) was my dad’s birthday, so here’s a big shout out to him:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I know he had a good one because he’s been in California for a week or so with his family, and that’s one of his favorite places to be. I’d really like to go up there again sometime and see everybody. I don’t see them nearly as much as I’d like. I love my Wyrick family, they’re amazing people, so sweet and thoughtful and caring and loving. It’s the kind of family that if everyone had it, the world would be a better place. :)
I don’t have any big plans for this week, so I guess I’ll just keep doing what I’ve been doing, which is fine with me. I definitely hope to see my dad soon when he gets back on the 8th, and then on Saturday the 13th it’s off to Florida. I can’t wait to see you, Grandpa!!!! I love you!!!
Hope you are all doing well and enjoying life. Until next time!

Cleaning House

Today was spent cleaning the house because Monday is my sister's sixteenth birthday and we'll be having some of her friends over to celebrate. So I vacuumed, then my mom washed the carpet with a machine we rented, then my mom and sister washed the dogs while I vacuumed again and dusted. It's all futile anyway, our dogs shed like crazy, and even after all the cleaning there is still dog hair permanently embedded in the carpet, and even after getting bathed the dogs immediately began shedding everywhere. It's so frustrating. I don't like having pets: they're dirty, they get everything else dirty, you have to feed them and take care of them and all that, ugh. I just don't like it. I'd prefer a clean house to pets. But apparently that's just me, my sister loves our dogs despite everything.

At 3 mom and I went to Kroger to return the carpet cleaner, and while we were there we picked up a few things, and then on the way back drove by a black stretch Hummer. Hummers are ridiculous enough in theire normal size, but when you stretch them out like this, geez, it just looks even more ridiculous. Awful gas-guzzling machines.

Now all that mom has to do before the party is clear off the counters from all her stuff, which is mostly paperwork that has been piling up for months. I don't know why she doesn't go through it when she first gets it. That's what she used to do. You'd think she would see how annoying it is to let things pile up like this and then get back to her usual habit, but no. I don't know what's wrong or what to do about it. I guess there isn't anything I can do. Oh well.

Just for fun, here's a picture of the cake Elisa got for her birthday (I could smell the icing the instant the took off the plastic cover, which is enough to make me nauseous, lol, so needless to say I won't be having any), and of my dogs. The white one is Skye (boy) and the black one is China (girl).

Funny Random Article

Haven't been up to much lately. My pastor (who is an avid reader and studier) leant me a book from his library at church that has been recommended to me by a few people - The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis - so I've been reading that, pieces of the Bible, "watching" some TV shows my mom owns (I play the episodes while I hang out in the house because it makes me feel like I'm not alone in the house). Just now I came across the short article on Groovy Vegetarian and thought it was funny enough to share. Other than that, nothing big or interesting to report, just having a nice relaxing time at home. ^_^
http://www.groovyvegetarian.com/2009/05/20/top-unexpected-dietary-habits/

Just Some Thoughts

So these are just some thoughts I’ve had recently. Right now I feel like my body is twice as big as it was when I started college. I feel like everything about my body has ballooned. I feel so big. But, I don’t feel discouraged. It’s amazing, all through high school I would have been miserably depressed if I had gained so much weight, but I’m growing up, growing out of that. I’m becoming a woman with bigger concerns. It doesn’t bother me that I’m not a stick figure anymore. It doesn’t hurt me to know I’m not skinny. I see thin girls around me and I am able to go on with my day. I see natural women of all sorts of shapes and sizes and it makes me smile to see them. They look beautiful to me, like real women who have embraced their bodies and live with them. Seeing real women makes me confident enough to be who I am, to not worry about my body, to not be stressed about not being the perfect ideal size I was in high school. I am who I am, and I am thankful for all the blessings I have in my life, all the family and friends who support me and lift me up and show me that life is bigger than just me. I don’t want to get bogged down in obsession with my weight again. I’m happier and more confident in myself that I’ve been in a very long time, and I only want to get more active as I get older, so I’m thankful that I have been able to gain weight without getting depressed.

Second, I don’t think my mom is ready to understand why I am vegan. It seems like she thinks I am still locked in my eating disorder and that that is what motivates me to be vegan. I don’t think she knows how strongly I feel for the cause, but I also think it would be difficult to explain my beliefs. I have this feeling that mom would have a hard time accepting that I have a sincere conviction to be vegan instead of an unhealthy disorder as my primary motive. I admit that my eating disorder was what first pushed me to be a vegan – it was very self-centered and simple-minded – but now I truly believe in what it stands for. Not to mention that vegans don’t appreciate anorexic vegans because it gives veganism a bad reputation. People already use the statistic that among vegetarians and vegans there is a higher percentage of eating disorders against it, so it’s better if I’m not super skinny again.

Third, I really don’t understand the stereotypical disgust that teenagers have toward their parents showing affection to each other. Maybe it’s because my parents are divorced, but I would be thrilled to see my parents kissing or showing PDA of some kind. It’s a sign that they love each other, why wouldn’t kids want to be assured of that? When I was a kid, that’s all I ever wanted. I dreamed about it, prayed for it. So I think that kids take it for granted when they get all weirded out because their parents hug and kiss and so on.

That’s all for now. I’ve been home a little more than a week but it feels longer, which is fine by me, I like it when time stretches out when you actually WANT it to. :)

Horror

Ok, I have to pause what I'm doing, I have to stop for the night. It's just too much. I've spent the last half hour crying my eyes out watching the first three parts of an 11 part documentary called Earthlings that exposes the raw, horribly gritty details of the animal industry and human "dependence" on animals. It's just too much. I can't even watch half of it. I want to throw up. How can people do this to animals? How can they do it without flinching? The way animals are treated, slaughtered... The word "evil" comes to mind when I watch this. I could never support these industries ever again, ever. And while I still hold to my decision to not judge people or be critical of people who continue to eat meat - and thereby support the cruelty of these industries that needlessly torture animals - I now feel it is much more important to SHOW people what they are supporting, to let them know how evil and violent and cruel the lifestyle is that they lead, that they depend on. I don't expect the world to become a better place by my efforts, but I can't just let people live blissfully in ignorance of how sickening the process is. If people decide they just can't live without their hamburgers, eggs, cheese, bacon, whatever, then fine, but I want them to make that choice KNOWING that that "food" came from living, breathing, bleeding creatures that felt pain and suffering, and had to DIE for the pleasure of humans. If the people I know can live with themselves knowing that, then there is nothing else to do, and I can try to be at peace with that. But just like I feel strongly about telling people about the grace of God given through Jesus Christ and giving them the choice of knowing Him, I want to show people the choice of living a life filled with cruelty and suffering, or one of peace and compassion. I don't know if I've ever felt as passionate about veganism and animal rights as I do right now, but what I just spend the last half hour watching has made me too sick to finish the rest right now and I am going to cry myself to sleep. It has always hurt me to see people being treated unfairly or cruelly for any reason, whether it was a defendable reason or not, but this video has really opened my eyes to the horror that animals are put through every day as if they were meaningless objects here on this earth for nothing more than to serve humans at any cost. That to me ranks with the rest of the evils in this world that humans commit against other humans, and the only thing I can say now is that there is no absolutely no way in this life that I could ever be tempted to consume any product of any kind that includes some form of animal product or animal cruelty. I just cannot in good conscience contribute to such horrific brutality.
Here is the link to the documentary:
Earthlings Part 1
I am encouraging everyone to watch at least a small part of this just so that you can know where I stand and why. I've only listened to the first three parts (I can only watch so much), but I will continue the rest tomorrow when my nerves and stomach are more settled. I think so far the third was the most traumatic for me, the one about farm animals.
Anyway, I love you all, God bless and have a great Friday tomorrow!

Starting Summer 2009

Well, so far I haven't done a whole lot since I've been home. The nice thing was that I went grocery shopping with mom the first night, and that was fun. I have missed going to Kroger with her; it's one of our things that we do. And she let me get some good stuff that I'm picky about. :D Then Friday we went to go see Wolverine Origins at the theater, which is the first theater movie I've seen in about a year I think. I liked it, but I've always had a thing for Wolverine/Hugh Jackman. ^_^ On Saturday mom and Lis went out and did stuff while I stayed home and finished watching a short anime series that Bri introduced me to Thursday night: Death Note. Omg, apart from Yu-Gi-Oh, I thought it was one of the most amazing anime I've ever seen. It was just breath-taking, and I have downloaded the opening theme song along with some other songs from the soundtrack and have been playing them non-stop for almost three days now (welcome to my newest obsession!). And I also now have a fantasy crush on L, who looks like one of those gamer-guys who spends all day and night in his dark bedroom playing computer games, so he's super pale with dark bags under his wide eyes. Then again he also looks like a druggie, lol. But I love him anyway :D Anyway, those thirty-seven episodes were an awesome way to start my summer, so thanks Bri!

Then Sunday was Mother's Day. It was so nice to be back at my home church! I haven't seen them since Christmas break. I always miss Cornerstone when I'm in Abilene, everyone is just so incredibly sweet and loving. And our pastor is great, I could listen to him preach for hours. But that's just me: I've always been partial to lectures rather than group discussion. After church the three of us girls spent the rest of the day watching Jane Austen films (BBC Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility). Then yesterday, Monday, I was home while mom was at work and Lis was at school. I watched Spirited Away and something else that I don't remember, probably another Hayao Miyazaki film -- because he's awesome -- until Lis came home and I helped her study for her AP World History exam until mom came home.

So then today, continuing with my anime theme, I watched Howl's Moving Castle. And like I said, I have also been listening to the Death Note music every second in between my other activities (and during others). Lis should be home soon, and I will help her study more when she does. I would really like to make a vegan dinner for my family at least a few times while I'm home. I know it would make my mom happy if we could all eat the same thing instead of me making something for myself the way I usually do. It would be so cool if she was vegan, but oh well. I know my sister never will be, but my mom would if she was motivated. In any case, I'm thinking Vegan Enchiladas will be my first attempt at a family vegan meal. Just need to go to the store with mom and get everything I need and decide when to do it.

Well that's about it for now. I have no sleeping pattern right now. I stayed up all night on Sunday and I went to bed at a normal time last night, so I'll probably be up really late tonight. Ah, who knows? Besides God I mean, haha. :P I'll write again if something interesting happens. In the mean time, I'm just enjoying my first taste of real free time that I have had in a very very very long time. This has got to be the first summer in many years that I haven't had any obligations or need to prepare for the next semester of school. Amazing! And besides, it's too hot to be active during the day, I might as well stay up late and enjoy the dark when the temperature is at its coolest.

(And for those of you interested, this is a YouTube video of the Death Note opening. It's 1:20 long, so it won't take much of your time to watch it. If you're interested. You don't by any means have to watch the entire series in two days like I did :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqOJRC0sWCk )

Drive Back Home

Yay! I made it home in one piece! It was a good experience. I checked out at 7AM, but I stopped at Walmart before I left to get snacks and gas, and didn't head off until 8AM. I ended up getting pulled over while I was still in Abilene, or close to it, for going 77 in a 70 zone and for driving in the left hand land without needing to pass. I had forgotten that the speed limit on the highway is always 70 (unless it turns to 65), and since I hadn't seen a speed sign the whole time I just figured I would go less than 80 and that would be ok. WRONG. Luckily the officer was nice and just gave me a warning, but that set me straight and I went the speed limit the whole rest of the time. I was so thankful for that, and I figure that was God telling me to go a safe speed.

Then at about 10AM I-20 split into I-20 and I-30, and I freaked out because when I saw the sign I thought it said the road was splitting into two different I-30s, and my brain just assumed I had been on I-30 the whole time, so I called mom and asked her which way to turn, but just as she said to stay on I-20 I had already turned onto I-30, so I had to turn around, which took about 10 minutes or so out of my time.

So I got back on I-20, then at exactly 11AM I turned onto I-45, and at 11:20 I stopped at a Shell station to go to the bathroom and have a small lunch. Then I started back driving at 11:35. I kept going until I got home at 2:15, without any trouble. The first thing I did was take in some things that I didn't want to leave in the car and then went straight to take a shower, because I was GROSS. Hot and sweaty, because for some reason my AC was not working. I was just getting a lot of warm air blowing on me. That would have killed dad if he had been in the car, lol.

But the weather was good for the drive because it was very very cloudy so it wasn't nearly as hot as it would have been if the sun had been beating down on me, and there was no sun in my eyes to blind me. AND, to top it all off, because I didn't have nearly as much of a load as I've had the last few times that I've driven to and from Abilene, there's still some gas in the tank! Usually the car is empty by the time the journey ends: it usually takes exactly one tank to get from one destination to the other, but that just goes to show that the weight of the load affects the gas milage. Who'd have thought? ^_^

I'm glad it was a safe trip. It didn't seem to last as long as it did, even though I was alone this time. Thank you, God! Thank you for keeping me safe and answering my prayers (and everyone else's who prayed for my safe return). I hope everyone else has a safe trip home, too.

Lorie, say hi to everyone for me! And give Bonnie my blog address!

Much love to all of you!!!!!!

New Song

So my most recent song addiction is From The Inside Out by Hillsong. Here's the link to it on YouTube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwJEdo1FlMo
Love you all! I can't believe I'll be home in less than a week, so sad... I mean, it's sad to leave, not sad to be home. It'll be nice to be with my family again. I can't wait to get hugs from my parents, my sister, my grandparents (eventually), my church family, etc,...
And thank you to you who gave honest responses to my last few posts, they have given me things to consider and let me know not only that you are reading what I write but that you care, and I don't know what I would do without you. I love you all so much...

Prayer Trouble

For a long while now I’ve been having some trouble starting prayer. I don’t know, I can’t get the energy or motivation to pray. I think about praying a lot, but for some reason it feels like “too much effort” to just START the prayer. It’s like there is a wall that I keep running into when I think about prayer. I get to this point where I want to pray, but I can’t do it. It’s hard to explain, it’s like running into glass. I can picture myself praying, visualize it, but I can’t get into the position or mind/heart-frame to actually pray. And sometimes if I start it kind of falls away while I’m praying, like my mouth and mind just stop working and the whole prayer fades away. It’s so frustrating! And then there are times where I want to pray so badly but I can’t think of anything to say. And I know that God knows my heart and sees what’s going on inside of me – all the emotion that’s there – but I want to be able to put those emotions into words, if not for God then for me. I want to be able to express my prayers to myself. But sometimes my thoughts and emotions are just too overwhelming that I can’t speak them. So at that point I just sit still and visualize myself falling face down at the feet of the Lord, crying and screaming without really speaking, just expressing my joy or pain or whatever just in this place where it’s just me and God and He understands everything. Sometimes I physically just fall down while I imagine this, imagine myself in the visible presence of God and just giving everything in me to Him in worship, and that helps, and I know He can hear that, which is good because I am such a quiet person; it’s hard for me to raise my voice or be loud at all, so I’m so thankful God sees my heart. But these times when I can’t get the momentum of prayer going, that’s hard to deal with. I find myself “unable” to think of something to pray, or just so cloudy in my mind that I can’t think of anything at all. I WANT to be able to pray, I want to glorify God, but a lot of the time if feels like there is some kind of fuzz penetrating me that prevents me from doing it, or like I am running into a wall that has no door. Sometimes I think I need to listen to someone else pray first to get me started. Maybe I should record myself praying when I get in the mood so that I can have it handy and listen to it when I can’t get started, and that way I can also have my own recording of the things I am thankful for. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, I think I’ll do that eventually.

Thoughts, Life & Lifestyle, Money, Stress

I've been thinking about this a lot for the past few days, maybe week, and I've come to the conclusion that I really don't like having a lot of stuff. I mean, I've known that for a long time, but I hadn't decided for sure that I could LIVE a lifestyle that was as minimalist as I was imagining. I don't watch TV, which means I don't need to buy one or own one or pay for the electricity to run it. I don't watch movies so I don't need to own those either. All of my music is on my computer so I don't need CDs. I don't need to own books because I can always go to a library or look stuff up online (because afterall, I don't tend to reread things). The only exception to that is my Bible: I definitely like having a Bible at hand and in my hands, and I definitely do reread it. But most of the "important" stuff is in my computer, so I guess as long as I have a place to plug it in I'm set. I could probably live without a phone because of instant messaging, email, and Skype. It might be a little less convenient than a phone, but seriously, the world does not need to revolve around convenience. And I'm not a fashion girl so I don't care about clothes or shopping, or makeup, so I'm not burdened down by needing to own a lot of that stuff. And I don't like driving, so I could live with walking or a bike, or at the most a moped, but I'd really like to avoid having to deal with car insurance, repairs and checkups, gas and government fees that come with owning a vehicle. That kind of stuff gets annoying really. And since I really don't go very many places, I don't really NEED to have a car. I actually like staying put: it's the people around me that make a place interesting, and with people of the world connected through the internet, it seems to me like I could be happy anywhere. Ideally I would love to live close to my mom and dad (I have a feeling my sister is the traveling type so I can't base my location on hers), maybe even move back to The Woodlands after I graduate. But another strange thing I have discovered is that I might actually be interested in living in New York, which is crazy because for my whole life I have been saying that I would DIE if I had to live in New York. I used to hate the idea of living in a huge, busy city, the idea of being one in a population of however many million, but that is where many of the publishing companies are that I might be interested in working for, so I have been playing with the idea of being there permanently. But for many years now I have been very anxious about money, and I worry a lot about whether in my future I will have enough to sustain myself. That is one of the (many) reasons I do not want to get married or have children, or pets because then I would not be responsible for just myself but for my family. I would have to MAKE SURE that I have a stable income to support the people depending on me, and I can't handle that responsibility. I only want to be responsible for myself. I can't handle any more added pressure than that. High school was bad enough when I stressed out about making SURE I got all 5s on my AP tests, got the National Merit Scholarship, got a high GPA and etc. I did everything to make sure I was able to get into a good college and afford it, which worked wonderfully and God has blessed me richly with my experience at ACU so far and I know even greater experiences are yet to come. But my whole motivation was MONEY. I didn't want my parents to feel burdened about paying for college (even though they always said I didn't have to worry about that, I still do), and I didn't want to feel like if they couldn't afford my school that I would have to pay for it myself because I was scared I would never have the money to pay for it, and I HATED (and still hate) the idea of being in debt or having to pay student loans. I just...I can't stand the idea of being in the negative, which is one of the many many why I live such a frugal lifestyle. The less I spend - and the less I desire to buy STUFF - the less likely I will fall into debt. So the key for me is to not desire things. If I don't have desire, I don't want to buy, and if I don't want to buy I don't need money to buy, and if I don't need money to buy then I don't need to get a big fancy high-paying job. (Sounds pretty Buddhist, doesn't it? lol) I can be happy and satisfied with a minimal job that pays me enough money to get by. And I don't have to worry about getting the high-paying job in order to support a family. It just gives me so much relief to think about this simple lifestyle. The less I have, the happier I am. I try to be as simple as possible, and I find that if I ever take something that is offered to me, I start thinking of who I can give it to. I figure mostly, if I have a place to sleep, a place to plug in my laptop and get internet (an offer at many restaurants and coffee shops and grocery stores these days), a place to bathe and brush my teeth, I can get by pretty happily. For now I think that is my minimum. Of course, I'll also need a place to get vegan food, but you can find that anywhere now. I suppose ideally I would like to be close to a Whole Foods, which they have in NY, but that of course is by no means the only place. And I figure if that's all I need, I can live a pretty cheap life, which is very comforting to me. Maybe I'd be able to room with a bunch of other people who think like me and we can split the cost to an easy price for all of us. And I'm also thinking that if I don't have to worry about making a lot of money to live, I will have more time to dedicate to community service or non-profit organizations or whatnot. I'm not looking to be a bum, I'm looking to have less of a stressful burden on my head that lets me explore the world and find my place in the community without the annoying requirement of money. I hate how it seems there is a minimum requirement of income for a person to live in America and be considered "normal". It seems like there are so many fees and bills and taxes and payments for food, housing, insurance, clothes, water and electricity, phone, internet, etc that a person just HAS to take into account when they consider how much money they need to make in order to just "get by". I HATE that, it stresses me out to the point of depression, anxiety and tears. I want to avoid that stuff as much as possible, and I'll do just about anything to avoid it. I'll give up whatever it takes, seriously. I just want to feel like I'm a productive member of the community and a productive follower of Christ, and I just don't feel like living my life to make money in order to pay for all these so-called "necessary" aspects of the American life is a part of the life I want to live. It's not. So I plan my future pretty much around being homeless so that if it comes to that I am mentally prepared to live that way. And after this week of deep contemplation, I've come to the conclusion that I could, and that is such a great comfort and relief to me to know that I would be willing to do that. It makes me feel free to make a lot of different choices without worrying about money. You can't put a price on the relief this feeling gives me. And after all, Jesus said that the Son of Man has no place to rest his head, so if he could live the wandering life, I figure I should be able to also.

Acapella

As you are all well aware, I absolutely LOVE my school. Part of me is sad to leave for the summer just because I'm so used to it here, but I'm also excited to see my family again soon. Well anyway, ACU is a Church of Christ affiliated school so they do not believe in using instruments for worship which makes for an interesting experience. I'm used to it by now, and in fact I think the ACU praise team sings beautifully, which is why I just had to make a post about it. I wanted to just upload a sound recording, but apparently this blog only allows pictures and videos, so I had to make a video. The song is "As The Deer" and I love it, I can't get enough of it. ^_^ Hope you guys like it too! Love you all and God bless!

Morning, Veganism, Belief

I did not sleep well last night. I would wake up, look at the clock, roll over, and then what seemed like five seconds later I would roll over again and see that an hour had passed. That happened at least five times, at 2AM all the way to 7AM, then the last whole hour was just exhausting. No sleep, but it went by fast. So my whole night felt like a few blinks with no real sleep. I mean, I obviously must have slept, but I don't feel it at all. I know that happens a lot to people, but it's so annoying.

I can't believe there are only two weeks left of school, then a few more days for finals. I'll be home in less than three weeks! Or maybe exactly three weeks, depending on when my last final is. I'm excited, I have a bunch of vegan recipes I want to attempt when I get home! Have I mentioned how much I love being vegan? If not, I absolutely love it. ^_^ If only the food wasn't so expensive. It's so dumb, why does all the good stuff have to be more expensive than junk? If the people in charge really did care about the health of Americans, they would do something about that. But no, in reality everything here is driven by consumerism, so prices are going to reflect what people want to buy, and big companies are going to advertise in every square inch of the country that they can to encourage people to eat that food, whether or not it is bad for health or not. It just makes me mad, especially when I think about all the completely unnecessary suffering animals have to go through just for that junk food. It's just ridiculous. I can't stand the idea of eating something that had blood, or a heart, or a brain, or eating the product of another animal's mammary glands. That just sounds so... yuck *shudders* But that's my stand. I think the world would be a better place if everyone was vegan. Then again I think the world would be a better place if everyone loved Jesus and lived according to His teaching, but that's not going to happen in my lifetime. I don't want to be one of those aggressive activists for veganism or for Christianity. I want to live what I believe and talk respectfully and calmly to others about my beliefs. I want to live a life of love, compassion, hope and faith, and I think veganism and following Christ go perfectly together because of that. I'm not going to beat people over the head and try to convert them to either veganism or Christianity; I think that showing others in my lifestyle, my actions, and my character that I find the greatest pleasure in my beliefs is the best way to share the message.

(Not that I think being vegan is necessary for salvation or anything, I just think it's a great addition to being a Christian. I keep in mind what Paul said in Romans: "The man who eats everything must not look down on him who does not, and the man who does not eat everything must not condemn the man who does, for God has accepted him" [14:3] "For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit" [14:17]. I know he was talking to Jews and Gentiles, but I think it applies to vegans and non-vegans too. I refuse to condemn people for not being vegan (or for anything really) because it isn't my place to judge. I may be convinced that veganism is right, but that is my conviction. It isn't my place to say what is absolute truth or not. I'm not God, I'm not any kind of authority at all, so I won't judge others. I'll love everyone no matter what they eat and leave it up to God to know what is right and wrong.)

Well that was a nice way to spend the morning! I guess now I'll head over to World Literature and talk about the Mayan creation story.

I love you all! Have a blessed day!

Awesome Day

So, over the weekend, Monday, and Tuesday I was really busy:
Write a 7 page book review for World Religions
Prepare a powerpoint presentation on Feng Shui for World Religions
Write a script for a group film project in Honors Arts Seminar, and meet Mon and Tues night with said group
Create a flyer to advertise my fridge that I'm getting rid of
Write a 4 page paper on Romans
Study for my Bible test
Study for Lifetime Wellness test
Finish Walking for Fitness take-home test
Read Don Quixote and type up an LA

So, with plenty to do, I have been going non-stop for the last four days. Not only that, but I didn't have my laptop because there was something wrong with it, so I gave it to Team55 (school tech team) to look it over and they fixed it, but I didn't get it back until Monday. But anyway, I was busy over the weekend, put up my flyer in Sunday, got my computer back on Monday, turned in my Romans paper on Monday, met with my group that night after taking my Lifetime Wellness test, spent any freetime getting my settings back on my computer the way I want them (because they had to reformat it so everything was like new again). Then Tuesday came and I spent any freetime studying for my Bible test, then met with my group again that night where I showed them the script I had written-- they loved it ^_^. Then Wednesday came and I took the test that morning, gave my Feng Shui presentation after Chapel, then went to Arts where there was a class peer review over the scripts. I was nervous about that, but it turned out to be great. My teacher is the one that really intimidates me, always asking for "brilliant" responses. So he put my script up on the big screen and everyone read it, and then wrote down peer review comments. He walked over to the group to our side and said, "So what did you think?" and one of the guys was like, "It...was...AMAZING! Who wrote it??" So I raised my hand quietly, and then the teacher came over and nodded saying, "It was, really good." And I was like, OMG! He LIKED it!!!! WHOA!!!! I was totally taken aback. I mean seriously, that made everything in that whole class worth it, that moment right there, a COMPLIMENT on something I wrote, just like that, was just, whoa, omg, best day ever. And that came right after my World Religions teacher telling me I did a great job on my Feng Shui presentation. So I mean, wow, great day! And then I spent the rest of the day finishing reading Don Quixote, starting and finishing my Literary Analysis, and still getting to bed before 11PM.
So then today, Thursday, I went to English, turned in my LA, got two back that I had turned in earlier (both 5/5, yay!), and then had the rest of the day to myself because my Walking class was cancelled since tomorrow is the start of Easter break (we actually get to call it "Easter Break" here on a Christian campus, ha!). Right when class ended, I got a phone call from a girl saying she saw that I was selling my fridge and was wondering if she could come look at it! I mean, as if my day couldn't get any better! So I went to lunch with a friend, and then at 1PM I met the girl and her mom at my dorm room and showed them my fridge, and they agreed to buy it, at which point I offered my microwave as well, and they agreed to take it too! So I sold both appliances that I don't need anymore (we're going to use my roommate's next year) and that I had been wondering what the heck I was going to do with. So after that, I went to work writing my Culture Event essay for Arts class and finished it, so yay for that, and now everything is just totally chill. Amazing! God has blessed me so much this week, I can't even begin to describe how grateful I am. God has done wonderful things for me, I'm just in awe. Every good thing I get I know is from Him, but I know that no matter what happens, good or bad, I will give Him the glory. Sometimes I think all these good things happening to me now are preparing me for some big trial in the future. I feel like He wants me to feel grateful for the good now and to build me up so that I say "I will be grateful in all circumstances, good or bad" so that when I get into the bad situations I will have to remember the good things and remember what I said during them. That's what it feels like. So if that is the case, I definitely hope I am able to keep my word and keep giving Him the glory even in my struggles and trials.
Anyway, now it is a three-day weekend and I am so high on God's blessings, it's incredible. My friend Sarah let me borrow a book over the weekend so I will be reading that. Hopefully I will finish it. I know I definitely can, I just have to actually read it, and with all the time I have now (seeing as how all my busy-ness finished on Wednesday) I'm sure I will. The book is "The Parable of the Sower". I'll let you know what I think of it when I finish.
I love you all, and I pray God blesses you on this Easter holiday!!!

Romans 12 Response

In my Acts to Revelation class we are finishing Romans. While we were reading it we were divided into house churches and every person had to come up with a new first century persona in the church so that we could have a better understanding of how to read Romans and what the people who read it first would have been thinking. I was Kalandia, a slave with a background in worshiping Athena and Artemis. This was my personal response to Romans 12 (about being living sacrifices to God and how to live and love people both in and outside the church). I kinda like it.

*****************

This idea of being a "living sacrifice" is very strange. From what I understand, our sacrifices are supposed to be killed, cut, and their blood used however a ritual requires. I thought "gods" wanted blood, or that the death was the major element. To make the sacrifice ourselves and make the sacrifice about how we live is completely different from what I am used to: it is a whole new way of thinking. I did not know that we could sacrifice ourselves while we were alive and have it still be a meaningful sacrifice (besides denial of some sort, but that does not seem as dramatic as killing a sacrificial animal), or pleasing to the god we are sacrificing ourselves to. The only way I can make that make sense is to think that while we are alive, God can work through us. If we die, we die; our lives on earth are over and we can no longer do all these good works that Paul encourages us to do. Maybe these good works are what is pleasing to God, more so than a bloody sacrifice that really seems to be of no use. A sacrificed animal is a ceremony that is focused on giving something to a god, and then after the sacrifice a person just lives for themselves until the next sacrifice. Now that I think about it, a "living sacrifice" in which we sacrifice our own wills to take on the will of God, to act with His Spirit and do His will, that seems to be much more meaningful and long-lasting than the usual sacrifice.

Wow, now that really makes Paul's advice on how to live seem much more significant: these works are our sacrifice to God! Instead of sacrificing an animal and performing a ritual, we live our daily lives sacrificing ourselves to God in order to do His "pleasing and perfect will". That is actually probably harder than the usual sacrifice, and maybe that is why Paul says we will struggle so much with sin, because we need to sacrifice our bodies to the will of God instead of to our own selfish urges. A sacrifice is a giving up of something, so doing the will of God is giving up our flesh, which will be hard while we are still living in it. But that must be where the true worship lies: in giving up what we have every day. As a slave I am no stranger to giving myself up to the will of someone else, but I always thought of it as simply doing my duty. Now I see that giving myself up to God is denying my own flesh and proving my love for God is more than my love for myself, and I can see how that would be a much more pleasing sacrifice than a bloody animal.

Quotes

Enlightenment is: do what you want eat what there is. - Jack Kerouac

The final mystery is oneself. - Oscar Wilde

The greatest thing in the world is to know how to be one’s own self. – Montaigne

I care not so much what I am to others as what I am to myself. – Montaigne

I’m erecting a barrier of simplicity between myself and the world. – Andre Gide

To be interested in the changing seasons is a happier state of mind than to be hopelessly in love with spring. – George Santayana

It is best to be yourself, imperial, plain and true. – Robert Browning

Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished. - Lao Tsu

Our lives...are but a little while, so let them run as sweetly as you can, and give no thought to grief from day to day. For time is not concerned to keep our hopes, but hurries on its business, and is gone. - Euripides

Have no fear of perfection. You'll never reach it. - Salvador Dali

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want. - Margaret Young

It's Over

Well, that's it, Spring Break is done and over. Sigh. I don't want to get back to the real world yet, I had such a nice break, just hanging out with new people, staying up late every night, getting to know Shannon and Christina, watching movies, laying around, staying inside when it was wet and yucky. Sigh. I'm not ready to get back to work. I thought I was going to be upset by having to move out of my own room, but it turned out to be a blessing. I met some really nice people, I hung out in a wide open lobby most of the time so I didn't feel isolated, alone, and cramped. I had fun. I interacted with people and shared some things about myself with people who were actually interested in getting to know me. I admit I didn't get nearly as much done as I had been hoping to, but you know, I at least had a good time. I got a good chunk of things done in any case. I'm still hoping to take these last hours of Sunday to finish some things on my Romeo and Juliet paper, and hopefully mom will call with some taxes info that I need. But all in all, I liked my break, and I wish it could continue.

I'm so happy because I got to talk to my grandma and grandpa through Skype for a whole hour! It was WONDERFUL to see their faces while we spoke, I miss seeing them so much. And later today I will hopefully get to do the same with dad! I had such an amazing time with him when he was here, it'll be great to see his face and hear his voice again. I love him so much.

Well, I guess I will get back to my Romeo and Juliet paper. Sigh. My teacher really intimidates me. I don't know what he'll like or hate. He always seems unimpressed and irritated, even though he's always smiling. It's unnerving. Makes me anxious. I am not looking forward to turning in this paper at all, and it's only because of him. All he ever wants is "brilliance" but I'm not really sure what would count as brilliance. And besides, it's a 6-8 page paper, and I could write a 15 page paper with all the things I want to say! This is hard... I can't wait for this class to be over with.

Stupid Spring Break!

So I am staying at ACU for Spring Break with high hopes of getting a lot of work done. I have several different projects/papers to be working on and books to be reading, and just for my own sake I'm going to remind myself of what they are:

Pauline Ethics paper
Read Muslim on Christian Road
Book review on the book
Watch all the different versions of Romeo and Juliet then
Romeo and Juliet paper
Study for World Lit by rereading the texts
File a new FAFSA
File my taxes
Start my presentation on Feng Shui
Read book on the early Roman church

That's all I can think of right now, and that might be it. In any case, it's a lot, but I'm ready to do it all, starting tomorrow, Friday. Unfortunately, I found out LAST NIGHT that I will be forced to remove myself from my dorm hall because there will be no staff available to man the desk, and therefore it is unsafe for me to be in the hall all week. Therefore, I am being relocated to the dorm building next to mine where there WILL be a staff member manning the desk, and I will be put into an empty room and have to drag anything and everything that I will need during the whole break across the street into the room just like I had to do over Thanksgiving, which is just irksome and inconvenient on so many levels I can't even think about it without clenching up out of fear of saying something rude.
I mean, seriously, I want to stay in my own room!!!!!! All of my stuff is there! If I find out half way through the week that I forgot something, then that's just too bad, so sad, sorry about that! GRRR!!! I don't want to have to pack up all my stuff and move it, that's one of the good points about staying at the school! But oh nooooo, they're going to make me do it anyway because they're liable if something awful happens to me while I'm by myself. Jeez, that's just aggravatingly annoying. I just... UGGHHH!!! This SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! Stupid stupid STUPID!!!!!!! *stomps around waving hands in frustration* I! HATE! THIS! SO! MUCH!

Oh well, I guess things can't be perfect anyway.

On another note, I was looking over the classes I want to take the rest of my college career and I'm so many things: nervous, intimidated, excited, interested, scared, hopeful. There are so many great sounding classes that I would love to take, but I am so scared that I will not be able to keep up with them all and that they will be hard and I will lower my GPA and lose my scholarship, and I just can't let that happen. I would do so much to keep my scholarship. I hate feeling like it isn't mine. I only have it as long as I keep my GPA at a certain level, and so it isn't a definite thing, which I hate. There's so much uncertainty and so much pressure to keep my grades up that I can't just relax and enjoy myself and my classes. I choose my classes wondering, "Will this class be too hard? Is taking this class risking my GPA?" And I don't want to have to worry about that! I worked so flippin hard during high school to GET this scholarship, and now that I have it, I STILL have to keep working just to keep it! I hate that too! I just want to HAVE it, I don't want there to be conditions attached, that just makes me anxious and unfocused and disturbed. I wish I had a billion dollars or something, so I could know beyond a doubt that I could afford college, and afford the rest of my life. But I don't, I can't be sure of anything. Oh God, please please PLEASE God, help me keep this scholarship, PLEASE!! I'm so scared...

Love you guys! Hope you're doing well!

February 2009

So, it looks like it has been another whole month since my last post. I'll do a brief summary of things because I can't honestly say that anything big and fabulous has happened.

Well, except for this one thing....

DAD IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!
YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*dances around the room*
I'm so happy, this is the first time he's been here since Welcome Week when I first moved in, and I love having him here! He got here Thursday night and we had dinner in the Bean (I'm glad I can save him the trouble of buying food while he's here) and then he came up to my dorm because Thursday nights are open house so that boys and girls can visit each others' rooms. So that was GREAT. And then Friday we had lunch together after my one class and then we hung out in his hotel room all afternoon. Then we came back, had dinner at the Bean (take out actually) and then went to see a small student art gallery which had some neat pieces. Then we went back to his hotel where we hung out even more, watched a movie, and I spent the night. So now it is almost Friday afternoon and dad is still asleep (poor guy, I always feel so bad for him, because I know he is seriously sleep deprived, even more than all the college students I go to class with!!!!). I am just so excited that he is here, I'm so blessed to have a dad that is willing - more than willing - to come out here just to spend time with me. I've been introducing him to all my friends because I just want everyone to know him and know that my dad came all the way out here just to see me! I feel so special, but then again my dad always makes me feel special. ^_^

Other than that, this week coming up is the week before Spring Break, which is so weird, because it does not feel like the semester has lasted long enough for it to be time for Spring Break. But hey, whatever. I'm planning on staying here so I can get some work done for classes. Hopefully I will get to stay in my dorm this time unlike during Thanksgiving when I had to move over to a different dorm building. That was inconvenient. Oh well, we'll see. I probably would have gone home if my Spring Break had lined up with Elisa's Spring Break, but hers is the week after mine, so I'd be home alone most of the time if I went back, and I'd rather just stay here if that's the case. I can stay focused rather than being home and being annoyed by the dogs and all of that. I like how clean it is here.

I have a test in Lifetime Wellness on Monday, which will hopefully be ok. I have decided officially that I never want to take another night class again. I'm glad I'm taking it for Lifetime Wellness, but if I had to sit in a classroom for three hours for any other subject... oh goodness, no, I couldn't take that. But I am happy to have the experience so that I can be sure. And besides, I like having my nights to myself.

I'm really looking forward to my next classes that I am going to be taking. I'm hoping to take a couple classes over Old Testament books along with my English classes. I'm planning to take some writing workshop classes and of course more time period reading classes. I'm probably going to have to take an Advanced Composition class which is a lot about grammar and syntax and all that, which is kind of intimidating since English grammar is so malleable, but hey, whatever. If I have to take it, I'll take it.

As for this semester, I really like it. My schedule is great because it gives me the opportunity to have dad be here on Thursdays without worrying about being busy with classes on Friday. It's great! It really is so nice to have a three-day weekend every week, since I don't think of going to my Acts to Revelation class as a burden. I enjoy that class so much, I really look forward to it. Plus my teacher/professor/whatever is the appropriate term, reminds me a lot of my Grandpa (Singletary) so that's nice. And so far I am doing well. Good grades and all that. Hopefully I can keep it up and keep my 4.0GPA, and keep my scholarship, God willing and with His help, as always.

I'll be happy when my Walking for Fitness class is over. We are required to take three "activity" courses here at ACU and I chose Walking because that seemed simple enough. And it is, it's very simple and straightforward, but man, I've always loved walking, and I still do, but when we're out there walking 4 mlles at high noon, it's like, seriously? Do we really need to be doing this? Oh well, I brought it on myself by signing up for the noon class, but it's worth it to be done with my day by 1. Very worth it. I'm hoping to do Bowling next semester, which is an indoor class, yes! ^_^

Let's see, what else? Oh, I have made an educated guess about a phenomenon that happened to me last semester. When I first got to college I was staying up late every night, like midnight or later, without fail, without even trying. It just happened. Now, ever since I got back from Christmas, I have been going to bed at around 10, like back in high school. Now, I thought I was staying up late because that was the natural thing to do in college, or something, but I am guessing that it happened because of all the diet Dr. Pepper I drank last semester. Before college I didn't really drink much soda (which of course, if I did, was always diet), but when I got here it was so readily available that I started drinking it a lot. And I mean, a lot. Like, I would drink it without ever having any water (I look back on that now and think, yuk! How could I do that?). I drank it so much, that I am guessing that caffeine in it kept me up later than I had ever imagined I could stay up, every night. This semester, I haven't had a single soda. I gave it up, mostly because the first day I got back I got thirsty and after I drank one soda, I was still thirsty, but not only that, I couldn't finish the one I had. I drank half of it and had to stop, I just didn't like it, and I was soooo thirsty. And that was when I decided not to waste my time or Bean Bucks (food money at ACU) on soda. And ever since, I have been going to bed at around 10 every night, and I like it. I think I'm sleeping better overall, too, which is a plus. Of course I get a few nights every now and then where I'm just tossing and can't seem to sleep for more than an hour and a half, but those are few and far between. So anyway, that's my guess, the caffeine kept me up.

Hm, well, I can't think of anything else, so, until I do, good-bye! Love you all! And as Paul would say,
The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit. Amen. (Philippians 4:23)

2009 Review

Ok, so I realize it has been over a month since I posted anything, so let me see if I can come up with something informative and brilliant to put up.

First of all, I found a thing on this blog site that lets me add email addresses to send notices that I have updated my blog, so hopefully that works. To those whose email I added, let me know if you got a notice.

Second, I am loving my semester right now. Here are my classes:
Honors Acts to Revelation
World Religion
World Liturature
Honors Seminar in the Arts
Lifetime and Wellness (kind of like a high school health class that teaches the basics of how to stay healthy your whole life)
Walking for Fitness (we are required to take 3 activity courses to graduate, and this is my first)

It is more reading than I had to do last semester, but it seems like less stress or work, mostly because I am not in my Cornerstone class that required the volunteer servive and the 15 oage research paper/project. Plus, I like the reading we are doing. I do have outside assignments for my Seminar in the Arts class: I have to go to five different artistic presentations in the community and then write 2-3 page response papers on each one. My teacher in that class has a habit of saying he wants us to say something "brilliant" for everything. That's his only criteria. Hopefully I can come up with brilliance at his standard.

I am also happy that I am not working this semester. It really takes off a lot of stress involving time management. I was thinking of applying to be a Resident Assistant, but I don't want to feel like I am torn between school and work. Besides, if I stay focused on school and do well I will graduate a semester early at least so I don't have to worry about getting money to pay for four whole years, just three and a half. The sooner I get out the less I have to pay for school, and the better I am able to do in school, the sooner I get out.

I have decided that I will look to get a "practical" job in publishing or something of that nature while I continue to aspire to write novels. That will give me something to tell people when they ask me what I plan on doing with my degree. It's funny that 95% of people assume I want to teach when I tell them I am an English major. I never would have put those two together. To me, if you are an English major, you like to read and write, so therefore you must want to write. There are teaching and education majors for people who want to teach. But I guess that's just my own way of thinking. *shrug*

I also really like that in my World Religions class we don't take quizzes over the chapters like is normally done in other classes. It takes a lot of pressure off and lets me actually enjoy what I am reading without worrying "OMG what am I supposed to know from all of this? What's he going to ask me about on the quiz???" I appreciate that. And also I am pretty sure I am the only Freshman in the class, because it is a class for Juniors and Seniors, but because of all the credit hours I have I am allowed to take it (SCORE!).

The ice days we got on Tuesday and Wednesday were nice. The weather was amazing on Wednesday, absolutely beautiful with all the white everywhere. Tuesday was more irritating and inconvenient since every car was frozen over and unable to go anywhere, but other than that it was nice to be inside in the warmth and know that it was in the low 20s outside. Then it was nice to go outside for a while, freeze, then come back inside to melt. I really liked that part.

I really hope to get a summer job. I don't have anything specific in mind, but of course ideally I would like something that pays well (not that I am holding any high expectations on that one). I also don't think I would mind if I had a night job like at Walmart or Kroger, during the time when there is almost nobody there, and be the one who restocks and organizes the items on shelves. OMG that would be wonderful... Getting paid to organize things, ah! Dream come true!

And just FYI, I am writing this blog on the Dell MINI laptop that I rented from our school library, so if there are any errors in this entry it is because my hands are cramped together over this tiny and adorable keyboard. I love this thing, it is so cute, but I think I will stick with something "normal" sized. Which reminds me, in our Campus Store they have the Mac section where you can play with every kind of Mac available, and last weekend I was in there using the MacBook Pro. Oh my goodness, that thing was amazing. I probably wouldn't buy one even if I had the 2000 dollars because I could use that money for something more necessary but my goodness, it was wonderful. I would love to just have one, you know? The material it was made of is great because you don't get hand oil all over it when you touch it, which I appreciate. I hate glossy sleek technology items that immediately get all smudgy when you touch them. I like things to keep looking new and clean for a long time.

Well, I think that is enough for now. I hope the email notice thing works so that everyone can see when I put up a new post. I love you all and hope your January 2009 was a great introduction into the new year. Much love!!!!

Kaleigh